Why are people stupid?
By Katie Brown
It really is no wonder that I have been praised by my supervisors for my ability to complete tasks correctly and on time. I have just had an epiphany and I have a sneaking suspicion that just about everyone I work with is stupid and lazy.
In the government world, there is a wonderful task called “CM.” This acronym can be used as a verb, as in the phrase “I’m CMing his work, and it sucks.” It can also be used as a noun, as in the phrase “I need you to do some CM on that project.” CM stands for Configuration Management, and for us lay men, means fixing peoples crappy work.
I have officially become the CM SME (Subject Matter Expert) for our team. This is a very unfortunate turn of events, because as it turns out, CMing sucks. I began to CM the work of someone who was integrally involved in developing the system of standards off which I am basing all my CM efforts. I thought that would mean that this person would actually follow the methodology we developed. Oh, such naïveté.
So now a job that is already delayed because the [expletive deleted] moron left some documents open, therefore unable to be edited by anyone else, before they left for vacation, is going to take 3 times as long as I thought. Why, oh why, are people so stupid?
A long story short, work is slightly frustrating, due to the stupidity of my coworkers. My relief comes from the following activities:
1. Listening to audiobooks on my iPod while CMing
2. Daily doses of Dilbert
3. Taking solace in the fact that I, unlike my coworkers, am not a lazy moron
Perhaps it is because I refuse to apply the phrase “good enough for government work” to any of the work I produce (which is ALL government work, by the way) that I almost daily receive an email from one of my (many) superiors praising my efficiency and dedication.
Dedication, pfft. I leave this place every day and don’t think about it until I walk through the doors the following morning. I refuse to take the advice of my coworkers to take engineering coursework at a local college to make myself more employable. If these dummies make up the rest of the work force, I will be employed forever.
